Couples therapy is one of those things that can feel like a last resort. You’ve exhausted all other options, you’re not sure if things can be fixed, and you’re feeling pretty hopeless. Maybe you’ve even gone to therapy before and it didn’t work. So why would couples therapy be any different?

Couples therapy is different. There are countless studies that show how effective it is and why it works when other methods have failed. Not to mention, most people who go to couples therapy report feeling hopeful and more satisfied in their relationship after just a few sessions.

Here are a 7 reasons why couples therapy is so effective for relationships:

1. It Gives You A Safe Space To Talk About Anything And Everything

Good communication is essential for any relationship, but it can be difficult to always effectively communicate and express yourself the way you want to, especially when you're feeling vulnerable. That's where couples therapy comes in.

Couples therapy provides a safe space for you and your partner to discuss anything and everything, without judgment. Here's a closer look at how it can help you communicate better.

Listening Skills Are Improved

In couples therapy, both partners are encouraged to share their feelings openly and honestly. This means that both partners need to be good listeners in order to understand each other.

Through therapy, couples learn how to deeply listen to each other and gain insight and empathy into each other's points of view. As a result, they're able to resolve arguments more effectively and communication overall improves.

Each Partner Feels Heard

One of the main goals of couples therapy is to make sure that each partner feels heard by the other. In some relationships, one person often dominates the conversation while the other feels like they're not being listened to.

In therapy, couples learn how to take turns speaking and listening, so that each person feels like their opinion is valued. This helps reduce arguments and frustration in the relationship.

Emotions Are Expressed In A Healthy Way

It's normal for couples to argue from time to time, but it's important that those arguments are healthy and constructive, rather than hurtful and destructive.

Through Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), couples learn how to express their emotions in a healthy manner so that they can still disagree with each other without resorting to name-calling or personal attacks. This leads to more productive conversations and a stronger relationship overall.

Therapy can be incredibly beneficial for couples who want to improve their communication skills. If you're struggling to communicate with your partner, consider seeking out a couples therapist who specializes in emotionally focused therapy, and who can help you both learn how to express yourselves more effectively.

What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Put simply, EFT is a type of therapy that focuses on the emotions that underlie our thoughts and behaviors. By understanding and exploring these emotions, we can gain insights into our own behavior and learn new ways of coping with and responding to the challenges in our lives. 

EFT is based on the idea that we are all social beings who crave connection with others. When we feel disconnected from our partner, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and even depression. Through EFT, we can learn how to reconnect with our partner and build a stronger, more secure bond. 

One of the main goals of EFT is to help couples identify the negative cycle of interaction that they often find themselves in. This negative cycle usually goes something like this:

One person does or says something that triggers an emotional reaction in the other person, which then leads to a negative reaction from the first person, and so on and so forth. In order to break this cycle, EFT therapists help couples learn how to communicate their needs in a more effective way. 

If you're feeling disconnected from your partner or like your relationship is struggling, emotionally focused therapy could be right for you. Through EFT, you can learn how to reconnect with your partner and build a stronger bond.

2. It Helps You Understand Each Other Better

If you're in a relationship, chances are you've had your fair share of disagreements with your partner. It's completely normal to argue from time to time; after all, you're two different people with different perspectives. However, if you find that you and your partner are disagreeing more often than not, it might be time to seek help from a couples therapist.

Couples therapists can help you and your partner learn how to communicate effectively and understand each other's perspectives. Here's a closer look at how it can benefit your relationship.

Couples Therapy Can Help Improve Communication

One of the main goals of couples therapy is to help improve communication between partners. Oftentimes, disagreements happen because couples don't know how to express their needs or concerns in a productive way.

Through therapy, you and your partner will learn how to communicate effectively with each other so that you can avoid misunderstandings and resolve disagreements in a constructive way.

Couples Therapy Can Help You Understand Each Other's Perspectives

Another goal of couples therapy is to help partners understand each other's perspectives. It's easy to get caught up in your own point of view and forget that there are two sides to every story.

In therapy, you and your partner will have the opportunity to share your respective points of view and really listen to what the other person has to say. This can be eye-opening for both partners and help foster greater understanding and empathy.

Couples Therapy Can Help Reduce Stress In Your Relationship

If disagreements are causing distress in your relationship, couples therapy can also be beneficial. Through therapy, couples will learn how to manage conflict in a healthy way so that it doesn't take over their relationship. This can lead to reduced stress levels for both partners and a more positive outlook on the relationship as a whole.

If you're finding that arguments with your partner are becoming more frequent, it might be time to seek out a couples therapist. They can help improve communication, foster understanding, and reduce stress in relationships. Don't wait until things get too out of hand; seeking professional help early on can make a world of difference for your relationship.

3. It Teaches You New Skills

It's no secret that relationships can be tough. In fact, even the happiest couples go through rough patches from time to time. When problems arise, it's important to have tools and skills at your disposal to help you navigate them successfully. That's where couples therapy comes in.

At its core, couples therapy is all about teaching you new skills. These skills can range from learning how to communicate effectively to managing conflict in a healthy way. Obviously, these are skills that are beneficial in any relationship - not just romantic ones.

Here are just a few of the ways that couples therapy can help you grow as an individual and communicate more effectively with those around you.

Learning How To Communicate Effectively

One of the most important things that couples therapists can teach you is how to communicate effectively. This involves everything from active listening to sharing your feelings in a way that doesn't threaten or hurt your partner.

Active listening, in particular, is a skill that is often overlooked but is vital to any relationship. Active listening means giving your full attention to your partner, making eye contact, and really hearing what they're saying - not just waiting for your turn to talk.

Oftentimes, we think we're being good listeners when we're actually just waiting for our opportunity to speak. Learning how effective communication looks like can help you not only in your romantic relationships but also in your friendships, family relationships, and even workplace interactions.

Managing Conflict

Healthy conflict management is another skill that is essential in any relationship - romantic or otherwise. Too often, people either avoid conflict altogether or handle it in a way that does damage instead of healing. Couples therapists can teach you how to have productive conversations about difficult topics without resorting to name-calling or other destructive behaviors.

Often, the root of conflict is miscommunication. By learning how to communicate effectively (see above), you can often head off potential conflict before it even starts.

However, there will always be times when disagreement arises despite everyone's best efforts. In those cases, knowing how to manage conflict in a healthy way can make all the difference between a productive conversation and an argument that leaves both parties feeling hurt and resentful.

Giving And Receiving Feedback

Feedback is an important part of any relationship but it's one that many people struggle with - both giving and receiving it. Learning how to give feedback constructively is a valuable skill because it allows you to share your thoughts and feelings without putting your partner on the defensive.

Similarly, being able to receive feedback gracefully - without taking things personally - is also important because it allows you and your partner to grow together instead of growing apart.

Couples therapy is about so much more than just helping you fix your relationship issues; it's about teaching you new skills that can benefit you in all areas of your life. If you're struggling in your relationship or simply looking for ways to improve communication and manage conflict more effectively, seeking professional help from marriage and family therapists may be the right option for you!

The Gottman Method

If you and your partner are having difficulty communicating or working through conflict, you may be considering couples counseling services. There are many different types of therapy available, so how do you know which one is right for you? The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a research-based approach that can help couples improve their communication and resolve conflict.

What Is The Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method is based on the work of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, who have been studying marriage and relationship stability for over 40 years. The Gottman Method focuses on both the positive and negative aspects of relationships. It is designed to help couples identify both their strengths and areas in need of improvement.

How Does The Gottman Method Work?

Gottman-based practices begin with an assessment phase, during which the therapist meets with each partner separately to gather information about the relationship. This is followed by a series of sessions in which the couple learns communication and problem-solving skills. The therapist will also provide feedback and coaching to help the couple put these skills into practice.

How Effective Is The Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method has been shown to be very effective in helping couples improve their communication, resolve conflict, and strengthen their relationship. If you are considering relationship therapy, the Gottman Method may be a good option for you. This research-based approach can help you improve your communication and resolve conflict. To learn more about this type of therapy, talk to your therapist or visit the Gottman Institute website.

4. It Helps You Heal Past Wounds

We all have baggage. It's part of being human. And when we enter into a romantic relationship, that baggage can sometimes come with us and cause problems. That's why couples therapy can be so helpful. By working through past wounds with a couples therapist, you and your partner can learn to move on from the hurt and pain and build a stronger, more loving relationship.

And if you're wondering how couples therapy can help you heal past wounds, here are three ways:

It Can Help You Understand Your Partner's Perspective

One of the most important things you'll learn in couples therapy is how to communicate effectively with your partner. This involves not only understanding what they're saying but also trying to see things from their perspective.

If your partner has been hurt by a previous relationship, they may be guarded or hesitant to open up to you. But through couples therapy, you can learn how to listen to them without judgment and understand where they're coming from.

It Can Help You Forgive Your Partner

Forgiveness is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your partner if they've been hurt by a previous relationship. But it's not always easy to forgive someone who has hurt you. In couples therapy, you'll learn how to let go of anger and resentment so that you can move on from the pain of the past and focus on building a future together.

It Can Help You Heal Together

There's no better way to heal from past hurts than by doing it together with your partner. In couples therapy, you'll work through your pain, life challenges, and life transitions as a team and learn how to support each other through the healing process. This will create a stronger bond between you and your partner that can withstand anything life throws your way.

If you or your partner has been hurt by a previous relationship, don't let that prevent you from moving forward together. Couples therapy can help you heal those old wounds so that they don't continue to cause problems in your relationship. Through therapy, you'll learn how to communicate effectively, forgive one another, and heal together as a team.

5. It Enhances Intimacy

When it comes to making a relationship work, great intimacy is key. It’s the sharing of yourself with your partner that creates closeness and connection.

But what do you do when you feel like you’ve lost that intimacy? Or when you feel like you never had it to begin with?

Intimacy is often misunderstood to mean solely physical closeness, but it’s so much more than that. It’s the sharing of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner. It’s feeling like you can be yourself around them - warts and all. Great intimacy creates trust, a deeper connection, and closeness in a relationship.

If you’re struggling with intimacy in your relationship, couples therapy can help in several ways.

Understand Each Other Better

First, it can help you understand each other better. Often, we enter into relationships without really knowing ourselves or our partner. We might have assumptions about who they are and what they want that are totally off base. Couples therapy can help break down these barriers to communication and understanding.

Provide A Safe Space

Second, therapy can provide a safe space for you to share your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. In order to feel close to someone, we need to feel like we can be ourselves around them - including sharing the parts of ourselves that we might be ashamed of or embarrassed by. In therapy, you and your partner will learn to accept each other - flaws and all.

Give You The Tools

Finally, therapy will give you the tools to communicate effectively with each other. This is absolutely essential for enhancing intimacy because it lays the groundwork for effective listening and responsiveness - both of which are essential for maintaining closeness in a relationship.

Often, we think we are communicating effectively when we are actually just taking turns talking at each other instead of truly listening and responding to what the other person is saying. If you want to enhance your intimacy, learning how to listen deeply and respond compassionately is crucial.

Intimacy is an essential part of any successful relationship, yet it can be difficult to achieve or maintain. If you’re struggling with closeness in your relationship, couples therapy can be an excellent way to enhance intimacy by teaching you how to understand each other better, creating a safe and healthy space for vulnerability, and providing tools for effective communication.

Attachment Theory

For many of us, the term "attachment theory" conjures up images of children clinging to their mothers (or primary caregivers) in fear. And while this is certainly one manifestation of attachment theory, it's important to understand that attachment theory is relevant to our adult relationships as well. In fact, attachment theory can help us understand how our early experiences with attachment impact our current relationships.

What Is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory is a psychological framework that discusses the importance of human connection. It was first proposed by John Bowlby in the 1950s and has since been developed by other psychologists, most notably Mary Ainsworth and her "strange situation" experiment.

Bowlby's work was mainly focused on children, but he believed that the same principles could be applied to adult relationships. In simple terms, attachment theory posits that we all have a need to be close to others and that our early experiences with attachment influence our later relationships.

Types of Attachment Theory

There are four main types of attachment styles:

1. Secure attachment is characterized by a feeling of safety and security in your relationship.

2. Anxious-ambivalent attachment is characterized by a feeling of anxiety and insecurity in your relationship.

3. Dismissive-avoidant attachment is characterized by a feeling of distance and disconnection in your relationship.

4. Fearful-avoidant attachment is characterized by a feeling of both closeness and distance in your relationship.

How Does Attachment Theory Impact My Relationship?

Your attachment style is not set in stone - it can change over time and be influenced by your current relationship dynamics. However, understanding your own attachment style (as well as your partner's) can help you create a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

For example, if you have a secure attachment style, you're likely to feel more comfortable with intimacy and closeness in your relationships. If you have an anxious-ambivalent attachment style, you might find yourself constantly seeking reassurance from your partner or feeling jealous when they interact with other people. If you have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, you might find yourself struggling to express your feelings or frequently pulling away from your partner physically and emotionally. And if you have a fearful-avoidant attachment style, you might find yourself oscillating between wanting to be close to your partner and wanting to keep them at a distance.

No matter what your specific attachment style may be, there are ways to work on developing a more secure bond with your partner.

A licensed mental health counselor or therapist can help couples learn more about themselves and each other so that they can develop a more secure bond with one another. Ultimately, understanding attachment theory can help you create a more mindful, compassionate, and deeper relationship with yourself and your partner.

6. It Reduces Stress

Everyone experiences stress from time to time, but when stress begins to affect your relationship, it may be time to seek outside help. While some couples turn to family or friends for advice, others find that professional help in the form of couples therapy is the best option.

Couples therapy can provide a neutral space for couples to explore the root causes of their stress and develop actionable plans for reducing stress and improving communication.

Identifying Sources Of Stress

One of the first things that couples will do in therapy is to identify the sources of their stress. This can be a difficult task because stress is often caused by a combination of factors, both internal and external. Once the sources of stress are identified, couples can begin to develop a plan for addressing them.

Common sources of stress include work, finances, children, extended family, and personal health issues. If you and your partner are constantly arguing about one or more of these topics, it may be time to seek help from a couples therapist. Left unchecked, chronic stress can lead to relationship problems such as decreased satisfaction, increased conflict, and even infidelity.

Reducing Stress Through Communication

One of the most important things that couples will learn in therapy is how to communicate effectively about their deeply distressing feelings. Many couples find that they are not good at communicating about stressful topics because they either avoid them altogether or they argue without really listening to each other.

Couples therapy provides an opportunity for couples to practice communicating with each other in a safe and respectful environment. Couples therapists can also teach couples specific communication skills that can be used when addressing stressful topics. These skills include active listening, reflecting back on what you hear your partner saying, and staying calm during disagreements.

If you and your partner are struggling to deal with stress in your relationship, couples therapy may be a helpful option. Couples therapists can help you identify the sources of your stress and develop actionable plans for reducing it. In addition, couples therapy can provide an opportunity for you to learn new communication skills that can help improve your relationship overall.

7. It Builds Trust

Trust is one of the most important foundations of any relationship. It's what allows us to feel confident, safe, and secure in our connection with another person. Without trust, we would never be able to truly relax and be ourselves. Unfortunately, trust is not always easy to come by.

In fact, it can be very difficult to build trust in a relationship, especially if that relationship has been damaged by hurt, insecurity, or betrayal. However, there is hope. With the help of couples therapy, you and your partner can learn how to build trust and create a stronger, more secure bond.

What Is Trust?

The dictionary defines trust as "a firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something." When it comes to healthy relationships, trust is believing that your partner has your best interests at heart and will not do anything to intentionally hurt you. It's also about being able to rely on your partner to keep their promises and be there for you when you need them. 

Why Trust Is Important

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It allows couples to feel safe and secure with one another and creates a sense of stability. When trust is absent from a relationship, it can feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells, never quite sure what might happen next.

This feeling of insecurity can lead to anxiety and stress, which can take a toll on both your mental and physical health. In some cases, it can even lead to depression.

How Couples Therapy Can Help

Couples therapy can help rebuild trust by creating a safe and healthy space for both partners to openly communicate with one another about their feelings and needs. Through therapy, couples will learn how to listen to one another without judgment and really hear what the other person is saying.

They will also learn how to express themselves in a way that their partner can understand. In some cases, therapy may even involve learning how to apologize and forgive one another for past hurt. 

Trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship. If you're struggling with trust issues in your relationship, couples therapy can help. With the help of a couples therapist, you and your partner can learn how to communicate with one another more effectively, which can lay the foundation for rebuilding trust.

Couples Therapy vs. Couples Counseling

If you and your partner are considering going to couples therapy or couples counseling (marriage counseling, premarital counseling, etc.), you might be wondering what the difference is between the two. Both couples therapy and couples counseling can provide a space for you and your partner to openly communicate about your relationship and work through any challenges you might be facing. However, there are some key differences between the two that can help you decide which option is right for you.

Different Approaches

One of the main differences between therapy and couples counseling is the approach that each takes. Couples therapy typically has a more psychological approach, focusing on exploring the past in order to understand how it has impacted your present relationship. Couples counseling, on the other hand, takes a more practical approach, focusing on identifying and resolving any current issues in your relationship.

Different Lengths of Treatment

Another key difference to take into consideration is the length of treatment. Couples therapy usually requires more commitment than couples counseling, as it typically involves weekly sessions that last for at least a few months. Couples counseling sessions are typically shorter, lasting 30-60 minutes per session, and may not be held on a weekly basis.

Cost

Therapy and couples counseling also differ in terms of cost. Couples therapy can be more expensive, as it usually requires meeting with a licensed therapist or psychologist. Couples counseling is typically less expensive, as it may be provided by mental health counselor who has a master’s degree but is not a licensed therapist.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to go to therapy or couples counseling comes down to what you and your partner are looking for in terms of treatment. If you feel like you need to explore past issues in order to understand their impact on your relationship, couples therapy might be a good option for you. If you’re mostly focused on resolving current issues, couples counseling could be a better fit. Regardless of which route you choose, both therapy and couples counseling can provide a space for open communication and growth in your relationship.

Conclusion

Mental health is an important topic that should be taken seriously. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experience a mental illness in a given year. That's about 43.8 million people. And out of those 43.8 million people, only about half receive treatment.

That's why couples therapy is so important. It can provide mental health support for both partners and help to keep the relationship healthy.

Couples therapists can help to address a wide range of issues, including communication problems, conflict resolution, intimacy issues, and parenting challenges. It can also help to improve mental health and well-being for both partners.

If you’re on the fence about whether or not couples therapy is worth it, hopefully, this article has helped convince you that it is! Couples therapy is an incredibly effective way to improve your relationship and build a happier future together. So whether you’re struggling in your relationship, or you're in a relationship crisis, don’t hesitate to give couples therapy a try!

Con Carino Therapy - Couples Therapy Seattle, WA

The licensed marriage and family therapists at Con Carino Therapy (couple therapy private practice in Seattle, WA) have a special focus on working with couples that feel their relationships lack trust and intimacy.

If you want to build a stronger foundation of trust and intimacy, we're committed to helping you make that a reality. We will meet you where you are with compassion, kindness, and curiosity, and we will also present perspectives that will challenge you and stretch you. This is an opportunity for growth, and we'd love to be part of your journey!

Final Note

Our marriage counselors and marriage and family therapist associate (LMFTA) in Washington state also offer counseling services, online therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, and group therapy to young adults and adult individuals. We look forward to hearing from you soon.